Lunch and Chat with Dr. Nunley: Rethinking Love

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Written by Jacqueline Wong
Photos by Yesenia Sanchez
 

In the spirit of Valentine’s Day, Dr. Nunley sought out to question students’ assumptions about love during his Lunch and Chat. He began by proposing different ideas about love that would challenge our preexisting ideas. For example, he claimed that, “the silliest notions of love are that people disappear in the relationship.” We can see this notion is pervasive throughout the media, such as in movies where the guy or the girl will do anything so they can end up with their “soul mate,” as well as the music we listen to, in which the musician croons on about how he or she cannot live without his or her partner. Dr. Nunley described how this approach to love is flawed, analogizing it humorously with the 7-Eleven on his street. He said that if it closes, “I will be heartbroken, but I’m just going to go to another 7-Eleven.” Rather than saying that one’s partner is easily replaced, Dr. Nunley pointed out that love and relationships are all about sharing, and that you need to know yourself before you can extend yourself to and for the other person. In other words, it is not all about the other person, but both parties in the relationship. He said that “relationships press all insecurity buttons, and the more you learn about yourself, the more self-regard you have for yourself,” and the less likely you will get consumed within the relationship. By emphasizing the sharing aspect of relationships, Dr. Nunley made us rethink about what loving another person actually means. It does not just stop at “happily ever after”; rather, it is a process of growth and evolution that you share with your partner.